Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Raising Cain

Most flowers fading. Cut back Lion's Tail and Dr. Seuss bush. Roses coming back for a second round, albeit smaller flowers. Second batch of corn taller than Ryan, Black Zucchini larger wider than Ryan.


There may be a victory in the air today, I just don't seem in the mood to get it yet.

One of Wendy's friends is starting a Web site for eco friendliness with a leaning toward families. And, get this, they want to pay me for content.


The problem? I've heard promises like this before and I'm a little too old to be spending my evenings writing away while the supposed check is in the mail.

Yes, doesn't that sound cheery? Don't you wish you were right here beside me hearing these words of encouragement I give to myself? Hell, yes, I hear myself oftentimes and wonder who the hell I am. But that's just me.

Haven't been having the greatest runs of days lately. And it's nothing to do with the garden. It's just... maybe midlife crisis? Who knows. But if you're at the same job for 9 years, as I have been, you can find yourself in a rut.

I meditated this morning, something I rarely do, and the clarity you can get from just sitting on the edge of the bed and taking 5 minutes (yes, 5 minutes) worth of deep breaths is simply stunning. Why? Not my role to ask why, I just know this: my mind was clear and I could see things beyond the everyday ordinariness which clouds my mind so many days out of the month.

Oh, this isn't a cheery entry at all, is it?

Darn it.

Anyway, getting into work and I'm dreaming a bit about being in the garden, feeling connected. Is that the feeling? Connected? Is that what we long for, then rush around looking for other things instead of connectedness because it's easier to buy stuff than do all the hard work?

Got me.

But here it is: Got the opportunity to write for the site. I'm stupid not to take it.

As my friend, who recently moved up to Oregon (from Nebraska) said: Why are you waiting for your life to begin?